Wednesday, September 15, 2010

“'We all have fears,' he said. 'We all have fears.” -The Blindside(book)

Everyone has fears, and since I had an uneventful(but really good) day, I decided that I would just make a list of everything I'm afraid of. Some of them are serious fears, and others you may think are silly, but here they are:

1.Dying: Everyone always says that dying is the easy part, but it really scares me! What if no one misses me? What if there isn't an actual heaven? What happens? It worries me so much because nothing's for sure! I'm just the type of person who likes to know what's going to happen with everything.

2.Failing: I think this is a normal fear to have. I have planned out so much for my future, and I'm really worried that I won't accomplish everything. I would be so crushed if that were to happen. I really want to succeed, and I work so hard, but anything could happen. I could end up with none of the things I thought I would have.

3.Rejection: It's somewhat self-explanatory. I have been rejected before, but it's been on a small scale. I don't think I would be able to handle a huge rejection. The small ones have already sent me into a bad funk.

4.Never finding Love: I know I'm just in High School, so it's normal not to find the love of your life. But I am so worried that I'll never find the person I am meant to be with. Love is so important to me, and I just think that my life won't be complete till I find someone to share it with.

5.Not choosing the right path: I'm so young, but I'm pretty much planning my life out already. What if it's really not what I want? What do I do then? With college starting in two years, I feel so much pressure to know what I want to do and to choose something achievable. I've been saying that I want to be a special-ed teacher for so long, but I really don't know if that's what I want. It doesn't help that everyone always says, "Wow that's so great", "I can really see you doing that.", "That's the perfect job for you."

6.Mirrors in dark bathrooms: This originated back from when I was younger. You know how you would be told that if you spin in front of the mirror in a dark bathroom and say "Bloody Mary" three times, supposedly a ghost would appear in the mirror. I'm sure there are different variations, but I was always such a wimp and never did it. Maybe if I had, I would realized it isn't true, and I wouldn't be scared. But I am. So I always have to stick my hand in first to turn on the light.

7. Something hiding under my bed: Yeah, yeah, I know I'm sixteen, but I'm still scared of the "boogyman" or whatever you want to call the thing that hides underneath the bed. It's not necessarily a monster, but it could be a person too. I'm fine when the lights are on, but if they're off, I have to jump into bed from about five feet away. Also, I can't have anything hanging off the bed just in case whoever is underneath there, grabs me

8. Heights: I can go on roller coasters and fly with no problem, so it's only a small fear. But as I look down from that roller coaster, I FREAK OUT! Like I start to hyper-ventilate, and I need to close my eyes and sing to myself to distract me.

I'm sure there's more, and I might update this later, but this is all I can think of right now.


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